sábado, dezembro 03, 2011

3 Poems



There are three poems that seem to define my moods through life, words that I hear in my head so often I know them by heart. The first, by Susan Coolidge, expresses what I feel in the morning, be it a real or a symbolic one, when I get up to face life again and again, the color of my incurable and returning optimism and endurance:

New Every Morning

Every day is a fresh beginning,
Listen my soul to the glad refrain.
And, spite of old sorrows
And older sinning,
Troubles forecasted
And possible pain,
Take heart with the day and begin again.


Then there is the moments of giving up, when I'm tired, exhausted, drained, and all I feel like is closing my eyes in the dark and fall into oblivion, forever. Then it's the second poem, the melancholic words by Christina Rossetti:

When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.


I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
Sing on, as if in pain:
And dreaming through the twilight
That doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
And haply may forget.


And then there is the in between, the poem that expresses my stupid self ever since I first read it at 15, and that is still as true now as then, so like me that I was amazed Fernando Pessoa should have described me so accurately (but later I understood that is the gift of truly great writers and poets):

Tudo que faço ou medito
Fica sempre na metade
Querendo, quero o infinito.
Fazendo, nada é verdade.

Que nojo de mim me fica
Ao olhar para o que faço!
Minha alma é lúdica e rica,
E eu sou um mar de sargaço —

Um mar onde bóiam lentos
Fragmentos de um mar de além...
Vontades ou pensamentos?
Não o sei e sei-o bem.

And then, there a 4th poem, one that I always associate to one person, to something I once had but seems now so far away that it looks like it was another life, or a dream, that I feel I'm not worthy to remember since I blew it so utterly and miserably. And yet... there was a time the words of Emily Dickinson evoke, sometimes painfully but always with a nostalgic sweetness that makes me think maybe I wasn't that worthless all the time:

Is it too late to touch you, Dear?
We this moment knew —
Love Marine and Love terrene —
Love celestial too —